So every so often as I walk down the road of life I find it necessary to make a .WAV file. Most are intended to be amusing. Some fail miserably in this respect. All that I have managed to save are included here.

This communication has been broken...
...for reasons of national security. My current voice-mail greeting. The soundbyte is from The Andromeda Strain
Ain't nobody home...
...to answer the phone. A previous (like 11 years ago) voicemail greeting from my blues phase. Amusing now mostly in that it features myself attempting to sing.
So I Can Talk To You
More of the same. This one is so lame it hurts me. And yet I can't help posting it. What is the matter with me?
The Worst Name I Ever Heard
If you've got a friend named Joanna, you should send this to her. It'll make her happy.
Pink Pet Roxette Zombie
An odd audio hybrid orbital having significant Return of the Living Dead, Pet shop Boys, Pink Floyd, and Roxette characters.
Harvard Admissions
An answering machine at the university that was too cool for Timothy Leary, William Randolph Hearst, and R. Buckminster Fuller.
Lardy Mama's
An audio skit featuring the phrase "May the Lard have mercy on your soul."
9 Ball!
Up against the rail! This is the impossibly cheesy glamrock theme song from Virtual Pool 3, ripped to .mp3 by yours truly. It's hilarious even if you don't play pool.